We Were Celebrating My Birthday

We were celebrating my birthday

                We thought it would be great

She said she could get us in

                The party was low-key

I could have my first drink

                It would be her gift to me

We took her car

                You alone in the backseat

And when we got there

                The sidewalks full of ice

You followed me up the stairs

                You didn’t want me to fall

The scene was exciting

                A room full of people I didn’t know

Introductions quick and scary

                Everyone seemed super cool

She paid (six dollars apiece)

                “You had better drink three each”

She chided

                Handing me a beer

The taste

                Urine like on my tongue

At first I sipped

                Acquiring the taste

Then it was easy

                As my can got low

I traded mine for yours

                Just as mine began to feel low

I’m sure you were

                Well aware

My body felt good

                My mind finally clear

The trouble began with a man

                Drinking from a green cup

My eyes drawn to it

                My favorite shade

I grinned and looked at him

                “May I have a taste”

He smiled and passed the cup over

                That beautiful green cup

When my mouth tasted

                The concoction I knew it was love

“It tastes like lemon drops

                They are dancing on my tongue”

He chuckled at my comments

                “Go ahead take another drink”

You laughed at my silliness

                Got me my own cup when I asked

The mixture

                Slightly stronger this time

I drank it though

                It was gone too fast

“They should serve this all the time

                For breakfast for lunch and at dinner”

You laughed at me

                “Here’s a little more”

My face was so warm

                My brain such a blur

You took me to the freezer

                You said it would be cooler

I had never felt so free

                Unconcerned with how I appeared

I slid down the counter

                I sat on the floor

The tile felt cool

                My body a fire

You stood leaning against the wall

                Directly across from me

You were my keeper

                Babysitter if you must

My fingers played with your shoelaces

                My face pressed against the floor

The tile felt cool against my cheeks

                Your eyes watching my every move

I sat up and you smiled

                “Are you ok”

Tracing the seam of the bottom of your jeans

                “I’m okay thanks”

As I gazed up at you

                I noticed your zipper undone

I reached up to fix it

                You looked confused

“Your pants are unzipped

                I was just going to fix it”

You swatted my hand

                Your face serious and red

“Do you want to

                Suck my dick”

I was taken aback

                My mind confused and shocked

You chuckled it off played it as though

You weren’t as serious as your tone

“Let’s sober you up

                We’ll need to leave here really soon”

I was unruly

                Slightly out of control

But with help from another

                You convinced me to rest on the couch

My head in your lap

                Your hand caressing my hair

The house was quiet

                Peace had resided

Driving back that morning

                You reclined my seat

She slept in the back

                No one truly sober

You had to pull the car over

                I felt like I was going to puke

I jumped out and ran to the grass

                My insides coming out

You held back my hair

                Rubbed your hand over my back

“Let’s get you to bed

                Will you make it now”

I shook my head

                “Yes” and we got back in the car

Closing my eyes

                The ride so quiet

One hand driving

                I felt the other graze mine

Not holding hands but close enough

                She peaked up

“Date already”

                You pushed me away

“Stop trying to hold my hand”

                I was confused

My emotions

                Strung too thin

She took me to my room

                Got me tucked in

“Drink plenty of water

                Lay on your side

I’ll check on you later

                You’ll be fine”

All day I slept

                Puking only once

At dinner I got up and ate

                A half of a breadstick

We never again talked about your dick

                Or the rejection from your hand

Sometimes it’s easier to let it go

                Than to hold on to the hurt