"I Picked You Up"

I picked you up
  From your house
You wore pink
  You looked nice

You wanted to shop
  And visit your mom
Grab some dinner
  And hang at your place

At the mall
  You were touchy
At first
  I didn’t mind

The hand holding
  Was okay
And the piggy back ride
  I didn’t mind

But when you
  Pushed me against the wall
Turning my face to the side
  I knew this was the end

I was afraid
  I asked you to stop
But you wouldn’t
  You just pressed harder against me

I could feel you breathing on me
  Your breath so hot
One hand on my thigh
  The other my shoulder

It didn’t last very long
  But long enough
It may not have been rape
  But it doesn’t really matter

You violated me
  You invaded my space
You grinded against me
  And for what

And we went to dinner
  I was so embarrassed
We went to your house
  And you wanted me to stay

I made up an excuse
  Some creative little lie
You pleaded with me
  Said you didn’t want to say goodbye

But I was finished
  I knew our friendship deadly
I knew I wasn’t guaranteed
  To be safe with you again

I drove away that night
  Your scent on me
Tears
  Streaming down my face

In my mind
  The story would end:
No truer friend
  Had I ever known

But then reality
  Came crashing in
Our friendship
  It was time to end

"The Attempt Was Scary"

The attempt was scary

  I shook the whole way

To the hospital

  With the few friends you requested to see

The nurses thought

  I was… your girlfriend

Your mom was confused

  When she discovered the age difference

Six years

  The age gap

I was just your friend

  I could relate to the pain you felt within

You had been through a lot

  Brought on by your mind

I worried about you

  Afraid you would really take your own life

In the fall

  After your “incident”

We grew closer

  You even… stayed with me and my family once

The night was so fun

  We laughed

My family

  They thought you were eccentric

At the end of the night

  We lay on the bed

Your head in my lap

  I traced the scar on your wrist

You were my friend

  I thought I was safe

There were no alarms

  Not a reason to hesitate

On the way home

  You were a little

I think the word is

  Spazzy

This was the first time

  I felt unsafe

The first time

  I felt afraid

At six foot

  Eight inches

I saw you as

  A cuddly teddy bear

But today

  You morphed

You became this

  Monster

I sat in the driver’s seat

  You next to me

The sun shone brightly

  Even on that October day

I’m not sure

  What caused the “break”

But your demeanor

  It changed

Grabbing the wheel

  Shifting us back and forth

I begged you to stop

  But you continued

There was an eerie

  Chuckles in your throat

A frightening

  Look upon your face

When you finally stopped

  Tugging the wheel

You started 

  Tugging my shirt

I had never been touched

  The way you attempted

Never groped

  In this way

Your hands pulling

  At my shirt

Your fingers

  Grazing my breast

I asked you to

  Stop

With a sheepish giggle

  Because… I thought you were playing

You kept on

  Pulling up my shirt

Caressing me

  Groping me

Your hand

  It moved to my knee

And then

  My thigh

My heart

  It raced with

Fear

  Discomfort

I asked

  Over and over

I pleaded

  For you to… “JUST STOP”

It was not until

  I threatened

To pull over

  That you stopped

We did not

  Talk about it again

When I dropped you off

  You hugged me through the window

You said goodbye

  And on the way home

I cried

  Part of me felt as though somehow I had asked for it

"You Were Depressed"

You were depressed
  I was so full of joy
You your mind so dark
  Mine oh mine clear and so bright

You fought hard but fell
  The battle raged within
Oh those demons
  You belonged to them

You wanted to be saved
  I grabbed my cape
Wielding weapons
  I began to fight your fight

With tears and hope
  You began to brighten
Your eyes not as dark
  Your heart not as pained

I held you
  Through the darkest hours
I listened to you
  Your words stricken with pain

And soon the storms calmed
  Fire seemed to cease
No longer in need of my cape
  I put back on my civilian clothes

I stayed close by
  I wanted to be there for you
I didn’t want you to fall
  I didn’t want you to die

"I Met You Again"

I met you again

  Last night as I

Closed my eyes

  And drifted away

You were wearing

  That bright blue shirt and khakis

The outfit that always screamed

  “I long for the beach”

Your hair lay flat

  Dark as coal

Your eyes shone bright

  Two twinkling emeralds

You smiled my way

  You waved me over

I snuggled into my blanket

  My heart beginning to race

I was certain you had not seen me

  I must have been mistaken

For again you waved

  And called out to me

I had forgotten how sweet

  My name sounded on your lips

It dripped off like honey

  Drips from the comb

I was the bee

  You were the charmer

Your sweet lips

  The food during my long winters

Temptation

  It won again

In a cloudy haze

  I slowly gave in

Regrets

  I have but one

I awoke too soon

  Now are you are gone

I met you again 

  Last night

In my sweet but

  Restless slumber